Avoid These Common Mistakes For Your Step-Parent’s Success Lifestyle News
New Delhi: Forming a new family as a father or mother can be both a rewarding and stimulating experience. Step-parenting often varies depending on the parent’s situation. The challenges and enabling factors depend on the context – whether it is a divorce or the death of the other spouse. It even differs according to the age and sex of the child. While you, as parents, are likely to approach remarriage and a new family with great joy and expectation, your children may not be so excited about having a new parent.
They’ll likely feel unsure of the changes that are coming and how it will affect their relationship with you. Your children will also be worried about living with their new step-parent whom they may not know well.
As a parent, we are always happy to give our love and care to a child, but the child may not share the same feelings.
Here are some common mistakes you can make as a step-parent:
Trying to get involved and getting too comfortable with the child early on.
Try to please the child by making him experience things that are not related to your daily life. For example, taking them for a picnic or a movie or just trying to make them happy.
Expect you and your new partner to have a similar parenting style without communicating first; don’t communicate with your new partner about each other’s parenting styles.
Too many expectations of a child when it comes to respecting and accepting you.
Sometimes the birth parent can push the child too much to form a relationship with the new parent.
Transitions are difficult and can be too difficult for a child to handle, especially when it comes to their family. The errors mentioned above can impact your child in these ways:
They may feel uncomfortable, upset, and develop feelings of resentment towards the new parent.
The child’s expectation increases and he ends up feeling disappointed. It can become difficult for them to adjust to your daily life.
The child may feel confused about the rules and regulations of the family and may not feel safe.
The child may feel overwhelmed and this decreases the chances of coming closer to the parent.
The child may not feel heard, valued, loved, and emotionally connected.
The important question is then: what can step-parents do to create a bond of love and fulfillment with the child?
Acceptance as a stepfather or mother.
Your understanding and acceptance of the transition to becoming a step-parent is the foundation of your family’s well-being.
Understand your child’s developmental age.
Children of different ages and genders adjust differently. You will need to adjust your approach for different age and gender groups, but your goal of building trust remains the same.
Understand roles and responsibilities: As a new step-parent, you shouldn’t step in as an executor at first, but work with your spouse to understand roles and responsibilities and work as a team with the child.
Create space in your stepson’s life, slowly and gradually: With enough time, patience, and interest, most children will eventually give you a chance. Focus on creating an honest and open environment by being there with them emotionally and physically.
Spend quality time with your child: Try to spend quality time with your child on a daily basis, which will get them used to your presence.
Communicate often and openly and listen with respect: Establish an open, non-judgmental atmosphere.
Learn more about positive parenting techniques: Be aware and educate yourself about parenting tools and techniques. Read, ask or get help from parenting professionals.
Results: You will increase your chances of improving your relationship with your stepchild and your child will feel loved, valued, safe, appreciated and encouraged, heard and emotionally connected. It would make the process of accepting you into their life relatively easier.