Fifty Shades Released: The Most Brutal Reviews
To absolutely no one’s surprise, Fifty Shades Freed is horrible. Check out the wildest reviews of the latest Fifty Shades of Gray movie.
To the surprise of absolutely no one ever, Fifty shades lighter is absolutely terrible. It’s not like she has much to live with either. 2015 Fifty shades of Grey and 2017 Fifty Shades Darker were both pretty gruesome movies, sporting a combined Rotten tomatoes rating less than 18 percent. Despite all the horrific reviews the series threw, the first two films combined to gross nearly $ 1 billion at the box office. Are you still losing faith in humanity?
In their defense, franchise stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan haven’t really had any premium gear to work with. EL James’ Fifty shades the novels have been almost universally circulated since they first hit shelves in 2011. But amateur prose and utter inability to chain a plot is damned – the author’s attempt to bring back the world of BDSM in the mainstream in one way or another translated into a successful series, sold over 125 million copies worldwide. Movie studios just can’t ignore such a large fan base, of course, so Universal Pictures quickly jumped at the chance to bring Christian Gray and Anastasia Steele to the big screen.
If nothing else, moviegoers can take comfort in the fact that one of the worst movie trilogies of all time is coming to an end. (That is, assuming Universal Pictures isn’t looking to adapt the fourth installment, Gray: Fifty Shades of Gray as told by Christian, which is exactly what it sounds like and exactly as twisted as you’d imagine.) And if you think we’re a little too hard on this one, you should see how ruthlessly the critics treat it. Here is The most brutal reviews of fifty shades darker.
A little better than its predecessor, Fifty Shades Darker, in much the same way that being shot in the head is better than being guillotined; at the very least, there isn’t everything blinking and wondering where your body has gone. – FILMINK (Australia)
At this point, Johnson and Dornan can’t even go through the spank-pants-rinse-repeat motions with no conviction. They look as bored as we do. In 2015, we generously awarded Fifty Shades of Gray a one-star rating. For the rest, we reduced it to half a star. With this latest entry, we’ve officially hit rock bottom. The whips, chains, butt plugs and nipple clamps are nothing compared to the sheer torture of watching this movie. – Rolling stone
If another sequel pops up, however, I’m going to have to use my safety word … If I can persuade any of you to get around their milquetoast masochism and watch the upper stratospheric “9 1/2 weeks” instead. , then I will have done my job. – New York Times
You just wonder who thought this car chase was really exciting, who informed that dialogue, and who just thought of ignoring the realities of the world in favor of what’s most narratively practical by the scene … C ‘is absurd, and not in a funny way … Give or take a great joke about the practical applications of handcuffs – delivered with expertly awkwardness by Dakota Johnson, who remains the only moderately charming element in the trilogy – the film is also wit only subtlety, and that combined absence, courtesy of screenwriter Niall Leonard, leads to some of his biggest involuntary laughs. However, there isn’t enough laughs to make this a nice hate watch. – Consequence of sound
Johnson and Dornan keep the chemistry of two mannequins banged into each other in a storage cupboard at a department store; the actual sex scenes are more like aerobics videos than anything that is genuinely steamy. – AZCentral
EL James, managed to turn Twilight fanfiction into a mediocre “BDSM” series that’s not only less sexy than Twilight (which, god, that says a lot), but also dubbed everything that was bad about the original. Glory. – The Mary Sue
Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Fifty Shades Freed – like the two previous films – seems desperate to convince someone, even himself, that the story he tells is truly worth telling. But it seems to me that the film protests too much. In the end, what was said was poorly written and what was done was not very interesting. Fifty Shades Freed concludes the trilogy as it started, with romance you can’t believe, endless montages of wealth, lousy dialogue, weak storylines, and – admittedly – lots of sex. – IGN
Hang on the chains and lock down the Red Room: our painfully sexy cinematic nightmare is about to end. – USA today
Jesus, who wrote that, a 12 year old? Fifty Shades Freed is supposed to make us believe that a matching tea towel wedding doesn’t prevent the cover-up sex of the shirtless romance novel Fabio, but everything is so catalog ready and rid of humanity that it does the opposite. Monogamy and kinky sex is just another thing to dream of but never, like a private jet and a vacation home in Aspen. – Uproxx
Indeed, a genderless PG-13 version of “Freed” could be cut without losing a second of narrative coherence, as it is; one might wonder what would be the point of that, although similar questions could be asked of the film as it stands. – Variety
Kraven The Hunter Art Imagines What Aaron Taylor-Johnson Could Look Like
About the Author